…like the positive energy you are trying to send to your own life is being absorbed & utilized by others?
yeah.
that’s where i’m at.
it’s not a great place to be, i must say…
i’m working on it though, never fear.
it’s such an amazing time right now. i don’t know about everyone else out there, but i am so thrilled deep in my gut to have obama inaugurated tomorrow. this is a time when i truly feel that change is possible and our country may be able to find its way back to being the amazing and inspiring place that it once was. and once was before my time, personally, so it will be a first for me. all of the poignancy too of having a black man inaugurated the day after MLK day is just an extra pulse of meaning, and i am feeling proud of our country and its people for the first time in my life. i cannot wait to watch barack take his oath of office and begin his work. i know that this is a time in the history of our country and in the history of my life that i want to remember and keep close to my heart. i’m the girl who walked out on her class when the desert storm campaign was launched and it was all the teachers wanted us to talk about. i’m the one who has campaigned pro-choice and pro-women. and i’m one of few people i know who has kept myself informed and voting every year and encouraging the vote in everyone else. and this time around everything and everyone mattered. we all stepped up to the plate and made history HAPPEN. we made change COME. and we are about to start a new era of the united states history. i, for one, am ecstatic.
yesterday was a cool fun actor day. i went to a read-thru for a short film that my talented bf wrote, and is being directed by the fabulous bruce dickson, and we had most of the cast there, including garret dillahunt, who is not necessarily locked into a role yet, but was generous enough to come and read with us anyway.
and what a nice afternoon i got to spend, reading, acting, listening and discussing. it’s cool to be sitting around with people who know what they are doing and love what they are doing. looking forward to much more of that in the upcoming months.
also made a drop-off to a casting office last night, and i believe that it went directly into the hands of the head casting director, which is rare. i do drop-offs semi-regularly when a breakdown really strikes me and i know i can access the office, and nothing has really come of it… but for whatever reason i have a very strong feeling about this one making a difference. like i will actually get an appointment out of it. i sure hope so, cuz even though the sides haven’t been posted yet, the description of the role sounds excellently meaty!! 
that’s the haps over here! off to do some t.v. research and catch up on a little kate-time until those sides are up and i can start workin’ ‘em over. cheers!
…apparently SAG is demanding a retraction cuz there has not yet been a doug-allen-ousting vote.
hope that doesn’t mean there *won’t* be one…. sigh.
so excited to hear that DOUG ALLEN has been officially OUSTED, and the chances of our SAG strike authorization vote happening at all are close to nil.
thank goodness!
let’s all get to work, and get our union butts in gear over the next 2 years so we can work TOGETHER with the other unions (what a concept) for a better deal for everyone next time around, without needing to go to extremes!
happy 2009! i realize as i’m writing this that i am already behind on my goals for how often i blog here…. but i think at this point my audience is small to nonexistent, so i’ll let myself slide… 
it’s been a decent start to the year in many ways. i think 2009 is going to be a big one for me, both personally and professionally. and so far things have been very positive. the only thing that surprised me a bit was a lack of auditions this past week. for the last 2 years, the first week back after the holidays has been very busy for me, audition-wise. so i was taken a bit off guard by my lack of appointments… but i have to maintain perspective, as always, and realize that the trends of this business never stay the same, and one week into the year… well it means nothing substantial. and also, thinking about it, it’s a very easy time to get bigger names in to be seen before they are wrapped up in new projects, pilots, etc for 2009, and therefore names like mine get put aside for a bit.
it’s allllllright.
i’m going to go audition anyway. yup. see, i made a professional decision about 18 months ago, after i became a SAG member and it limited my audition options, that unless i was absolutely certain i was interested in working the role, i was not even going to apply for thesis or deferred-pay work. i thought it would be respectful not to wasted the time and attention of the casting people if i had no intention of accepting an offer, and unless the part or script was something that gripped me i would need to be doing other things. i thought that by doing this i was opening the door to bigger and better and more… but it didn’t work out as planned. especially with the impact of the WGA strike on everything around town. thing is, i have realized that by cutting back on my auditions, i’ve cut back on my practice. my rehearsal for the stuff i want to accept. cuz as we know, auditioning is a skill totally unto itself, and if your audition muscles aren’t in shape you could just be the absolute perfect person for the job, and no one will ever know it but you. in an effort to avoid that… i’ve made a goal to audition for something at least once a week. at this point in my career, i may have to work at that, sad but true. and i am already on track with a USC thesis film audition on monday, which happens to be cast by an indie film casting office, so could lead to exposure for something bigger and better… go figure.
this year is about focusing on the WORK. i hope my financial circumstances will allow for that to be the focus, because i think it’s the key. i really believe it is what was missing from my last year, due to so much concern about the state of affairs in regular day-to-day existence junk. i just want to be able to PLAY, and do my WORK, and WORK my art. so stay tuned for good news soon. i know this is going to pay off big.